


A Quick Note

by Lizzerone



Category: lizzerone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:08:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzerone/pseuds/Lizzerone
Summary: I wanted to write a quick note on where I've been, and the future of my writings.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	A Quick Note

I wanted to write a quick note for anyone reading or following my stories. And, I’d like to start off by saying that I will be starting a new one, and I’m sorry.

I want to explain myself and my disappearance, as well for the fact that 3 out of my 4 stories aren’t finished, and I’m not sure if they ever will be. A lot happened, and I’ll explain it to you as quickly as I can. I know not many people will read this, but I think those of you who will, deserve this explanation.

When I started “The World Around Kim Seokjin,” it wasn’t my first writing. I had a separate account which I’ve erased from my mind. The writing was terrible, and the plot was going nowhere. So I scratched that out and made a new account, with a solid idea in my mind that bloomed into my favorite piece of writing yet, as well as the only one I managed to finish. I started writing it when I was at home after a surgery, with plenty of time on my hands, and a depression that I needed to be cured with a new passion. That’s why I took up writing, it just seemed to speak to me, and all I had to do was put the words on paper. But I’ve always had faulty wiring as a person, and while I grew more cheerful in my day to day life, something else started to nag at my head.

So, I finished my first work and started on the next one. “Scared Of the Unknown,” was already more difficult to write, and sometimes it felt more like homework than anything. I should mention that I’m not in school, and that my plans to return after a semester at home had changed into moving to a new state, needing two surgeries, and then bills beyond belief to pay off. So I’m two years in my wait to return, and I’m terrified now. But I was always a procrastinator, and when something took my interest, it took it in abundance and left time for nothing else. And while that passion can amaze people, it runs away sooner than it would for any other person. And soon writing this piece became a chore, and I just couldn’t find it in me to even sit down and finish the last chapter needed. It’s funny though, just one more chapter. If I were to finish one, I’d start with this.

So after sitting at home, I returned to work, and then started “Light Up My World,” my biggest piece so far. And this went so well for so long, and everything was so planned out well, and I really, really thought this would be the one to finish. Until I received a comment that I had to delete. It made my skin crawl that someone could dislike something I had written, and it took many nights for me to even return to my computer to try to write something new. The fun was taken out of this story, and once again, it became a chore. They were disgusted with my work. I could just feel the ball in my throat growing each day I thought about writing, and then I looked back at each scene, trying hard to understand where I went wrong, how someone could be so upset with the art I was trying to create. I became so obsessed that I became mad, and I stopped writing to try the topic with “The Boy Next Door,” but that stuff is so deep, and I felt troubled and wondered what made me think I even deserved to go into a topic like that? I started to hate myself, and my writing, just because of one comment.

I took a break, a long one. I stopped writing, I made new friends at a new job, and I started to look into dating, and thought for the first time I met a real person I could love. But they took advantage of that, and I felt what it was like to be truly uncomfortable with myself. I broke up with them. Near the end of our relationship, I started writing again, but I was still too embarrassed with myself for the past things I had written to write a story on this account. So I made a new one, and started writing my story on that one instead, but it just didn’t feel the same. I am me because of “The World Around Kim Seokjin,” and I think about it every time I feel like quitting, or think that I’m not good enough. Because I have proof of what I can do, and what I can finish. But I’ve always been a procrastinator, and I’ve always taken things too much to heart. So I won’t delete my past writings, but they carry a bitter taste in my mouth. And I want to start over. I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish it, and I don’t know if it’ll be any good after being out of the writing scene for a while. But I really, really, want to try.

Take this as an apology for anyone who had enjoyed my writing and highly requested more of it. I’m flawed, as are my writings. I want to better myself, and I want to become a better person so badly. I can’t keep living my life like an unfinished story.

I’ll be starting a new piece, and I hope you guys enjoy and can forgive me for being away for so long. I’ll try my hardest to make this my best story yet!


End file.
